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The mission of Church & Family Life is to proclaim the sufficiency of Scripture for both church and family life.
Choose the Right Weapons For the Battle Against Impurity
Aug. 19, 2019
00:00
-58:34
Transcription

When I visited Iwo Jima with my father and my son and my daughter, I found myself sitting in a troop truck with some other men and I heard a startling comment past the lips of my father. He was sitting next to another fly boy who had flown P-47 Thunderbolts on Iwo Jima. My dad flew P-51 Mustangs and I caught my dad turning to him and saying, my plane was better than your plane and we all just cracked up with laughter because everybody knows that the p-51 Mustang was a great airplane my appreciation for this plane is proved by the fact that I have a large imposing picture of one in my office and when people see it the most common thing they say is that's a beautiful plane I have one friend who calls it industrial art. The P-51 Mustang is one of the most collectible airplanes in history and collectors are willing to part with big dollars to find them and to restore them. But the Mustang was one of the most important planes in World War II.

The Senate investigating committee in 1944 said that the Mustang was quote the most aerodynamically perfect pursuit plane in existence. Hap Arnold said one of the great miracles of the war was the fact that the long-range Mustang appeared over Germany just at the saving moment. General Karl Spatz, the commanding officer of the 8th Air Force, saw the Mustang on the production line and he said, that's the plane I want. But the most compelling comment about the p-51 Mustang was made by Hermann Gering on March 4th 1944 he said when I saw the Mustang fighters escorting the bombers over Berlin I knew the jig was up the p-51 Mustang was a powerful fast airplane and it was the plane my dad flew. Almost 10, 000 of them rolled off the assembly line and they were without question the finest fighter planes in World War II.

I've always been captivated by the Mustang. Its monster horsepower made it one of the fastest planes in the air and it was high on maneuverability and it's beautiful unmatched. My dad says that compared to the other planes, it was easy to fly. But you had to be careful how fast you flew it because if you went into too steep a dive too fast, the rivets would pop out and the whole plane would come apart. That happened one time to one of his comrades in the 7th Air Force.

My dad liked flying that plane. He said that a trip in a P-47 was like flying a wrench, but flying the P-51 Mustang was like strapping onto an arrow. He called the P-47 a bucket of bolts. That gives you an idea of the comparison that he made between his plane and the other guy's plane. Choosing the right weapons of war can make a difference between victory and defeat in warfare.

And I would like to submit the idea that helping sons choose the best weapons for the battles that they'll face is one of the most important things a father will ever do. Now fortunately every dad has a jumpstart on helping his son appreciate weapons. Most boys love weapons. Hand a five-year-old a banana and it becomes a revolver. It's natural.

Hand him a peanut butter sandwich and he'll chew it in the shape of a pistol. Any stick becomes a knife or a sword. Please tell me why weapons matter to little boys. Well, maybe it's because it comes from an inborn understanding that they know that weapons are important for the battles that they will face someday. You know it would be silly to engage in aerial dog fights using swords and it would be equally silly to do hand-to-hand combat with squirt guns.

These are overblown analogies, I know, but they help us to think about the use of the right weapon for the right kind of battle, because the right weapons are critical for the success of any battle. The P-51 Mustang was exactly what the war effort needed. Wars are won or lost on the choices that come after the command. Gentlemen, choose your weapons. In World War II, My father's weapon was an airplane.

It was the fastest most operationally successful fighter plane in World War II. And the weapons of warfare for all of life for boys ought to be identified early and used early. Boys need to know their weapons and sharpen the right ones or they'll find themselves using their old worn-out inadequate weapons for the challenge that challenge it. Their own worn-out weapons for the challenges in front of them. And that's the problem with most people's weapons of war.

They wear out and they become obsolete. But fortunately, the weapons of warfare for boys are not things like knives and guns and airplanes. Those things wear out. They break. The weapons that God has provided, though, they get sharper with use and more effective over time, and they never go obsolete.

The weapons a boy uses in his youth are critical, and fathers can help their sons choose wisely the weapons that they will face in their daily battles. All weapons are not of equal value. And fortunately, Almighty God has been kind enough to give us all we need to wage the great wars against our souls, and the wars against our families, and the wars against our culture, and the wars against our churches, and the wars against our companies and any kind of battle that there might be. This is why a boy needs to learn that the best weapons are not made of steel. Paul makes this perfectly clear in Ephesians chapter 6 11 through 18 he says, put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, having done all to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waste with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Above all, taking the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one, and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this and with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints. This makes it perfectly clear, this makes it perfectly clear that it is not physical weapons that boys need the most for God has promised that he is the defining factor in the warfare in Hosea chapter 1 he says I will not save them by bow nor by sword.

Let me write, let me say that again. Hosea 1 verse 7, in Hosea chapter 1 verse 7, the Lord says, I will not save them by bow or sword or battle, by horses or horsemen. And 2 Samuel 1 27 records an incident where there was a complete failure of physical weapons. Quote, how the mighty have fallen and the weapons of war perished. In Psalm 33 verse 16 we read, no king is saved by the multitude of an army.

A mighty man is not delivered by great strength. Isn't the bankruptcy of earthly weapons obvious to us by these statements? In Jeremiah 50, 25 we read, the Lord has opened his armory and has brought out the weapons of his indignation, for this is the work of the Lord God of hosts in the land of the Chaldeans. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10 for for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for the pulling down of strongholds. We saw this same kind of mentality in the heart of David, the boy who went against that giant Goliath.

David said to that Philistine, and I quote, You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel whom you have defiled. Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword or spear, for the battle is the Lord's, and He will give you into our hands." 1 Samuel 17, 45 and 47. This is the way of battle in the Kingdom of Heaven. These are the weapons of war that God gives.

He gives Himself. He gives His word. He gives spiritual weapons, not weapons of steel. We saw a brilliant example of this in John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. His character, Valiant for Truth, is headed for the Celestial City.

And what happens? What happens to him happens to every boy and every man. He was attacked by three men. These three men attack every man. The three men were Wildhead and inconsiderate and pragmatic.

And after hearing Valiant for Truth's story, Great Heart, who is Pilgrim's Guide, asks about the weapon that he used against those enemies. He wants to know what kind of weapon you use against Wild Head. What kind of weapon do you use against pragmatic? And Valiant pulls out his sword and shows him and Great Heart exclaims, ah It is a right Jerusalem blade. Valiant used the word of God, the blade that gets sharper and sharper with use.

And here Bunyan so brilliantly illustrates the principle. He helps us understand how important it is to choose holy weapons because boys will be attacked by various kinds of personalities all their lives long just like Pilgrim. And what will he do to fend off the attacker? What will he do to counteract the enemies that not only rise up in his heart but that rise up from without in the form of institutions or individuals or calamities. His best weapon is the right Jerusalem blade, the word of God.

It's sharper than any two-edged sword. And so here we learn that the wise and a godly man is discriminating. He is selective. He just doesn't grab any old weapon in the battles that he is facing. Some weapons are demonic, other weapons are divine.

And the temptation we're always faced with is the inclination to immediately use our own weapons, to find our own words, to find our own means, to find our own reactions. But we always ought to return to the principle that the word of God is the only weapon that will bring us to victory. So fathers need to help their sons have faith in the weapons that God gives, not fleshly weapons. When you're faced with a hothead or wildhead, the temptation is to use a hotheaded weapon. When you're faced with inconsiderate, you're tempted to use a weapon in kind and go after him the same way he went after you.

But fathers need to help their sons have faith in spiritual weapons, heavenly weapons, and they are the weapons of God's selection. That young boy Solomon gives us a powerful testimony of prioritization of weapons. When Solomon was a boy, God gave him the opportunity of a lifetime to get whatever he asked. And he did not ask for earthly riches, he did not ask for an army, he did not ask for weapons of war, he did not ask for steel, he asked for wisdom. And that choice made all the difference in the world.

And Solomon, after living a long life, having experienced unparalleled abundance, wealth beyond measure, When the Queen of Sheba came and visited Solomon to look at his riches, she went away shaking her head, saying, they didn't tell me half of what this man had. And after living this kind of life of abundance with multitudes around him to serve him and protect him. Here's what he writes, Wisdom is better than weapons of war. He said that in Ecclesiastes chapter 9, verse 18. Even as a boy, Solomon understood how choosing the right weapons makes all the difference in the world and after living life and experiencing all the ups and downs and the attacks of life, he still believes that wisdom is better than weapons of war.

Every boy understands how important weapons are. Perhaps that's why they love to carry them wherever they go in their youth. Perhaps that's That's why when I was five years old, I spent a year sleeping with my six guns every night. Maybe that's why every time a boy comes to our house, he walks inside with a stick that he calls a sword. The most effective way a father can give his son the best weapons is to carry them himself and display them daily when he sits in his house when he walks by the way when he lies down and when he rises up These weapons are not worldly or fleshly but they're spiritual.

The sword of the Spirit is the universal weapon. It can handle anything and it is more powerful than any two-edged sword. These weapons are carried in his heart, says Deuteronomy 6, and he must talk of them. These weapons are carried in his heart, Deuteronomy 6.6. And in doing so, a father fortifies the soul of his son with armaments that he will be able to take with him wherever he may go, and he will have them when he sits in his house, when he walks by the way, when he lies down, and when he rises up.

Here's some questions for reflection and conversation about weapons of war. Here's one. Why is the choice of weapons so important? List the elements of the armor of God in Ephesians chapter 6. Why is the greatness of a weapon not the only factor in winning a battle?

What is the choice weapon of warfare for the Christian? Why is this weapon superior to all other weapons? Read Ephesians 3, 16-21, and discuss the implications for the warfare you are currently in. What does Proverbs 21 31 have to say about weapons? And fathers, how much time are you spending handling the weapons that God has provided?

These weapons of war are critical for helping a son handle the temptations that he might face. There's a story from the battle for Iwo Jima that illustrates this beautifully, and particularly how the actions of a father, which were embedded by the truth of Scripture about marriage, became a weapon for a boy on Iwo Jima. The actions of a father helped his son to resist the powerful temptations that faced him in the military. It's a story about how a father's life strengthened his son from 6, 000 miles away so that he would resist the temptations that the other boys were falling into and what his father did with the Word of God How his father handled the Word of God specifically in his marriage, fortified his son to fulfill the words of Paul to Timothy when he said, flee youthful lusts but pursue righteousness. You know Every son needs a father who will say to him, flee immorality, but not just that, a father who personally is wielding the weapons of war against immorality in his own life.

It was boxes from home that helped a young soldier on Iwo Jima to keep himself sexually pure. Helping your son deal with temptation is one of the most important things a father ever does. For in this world temptation is almost always just around the corner. The boys from Iwo Jima faced the temptations that boys everywhere face and this was revealed in a very powerful moment when Bill Henderson was telling about his experience in the Pacific War. Bill tells about the temptations that his friends faced and the things that made some able to flee immorality and others ready to fall.

When you're away from home and you're subjected to boredom and then pressure, the weaknesses of the flesh and then the weaknesses of the men around you can cause you to be overtaken by sexual sin unless you've been strengthened against it. Wartime always delivers unusual temptations and this is why Moses said quote when an army goes out against your enemies then keep yourself from every wicked thing Deuteronomy 23 9. Bill Henderson remembers getting letters from his mother and goodies that she packaged in beautifully assembled wooden boxes. His father carefully crafted each box especially for him and he tells of how his father and mother made sure everything was arranged just right so that everything in the box breathed their love for him and it was their way of saying Bill I'm proud of you Bill I love you Bill I'm praying for you and Bill Henderson speaks of the the impact of these boxes and the connections that they made. Here are his own words.

What I saw in my father's relationship with my mother helped me not do some of the things others were doing. I'd go out with the guys and frankly we'd go to some places we shouldn't have gone. We'd go out to what we called comfort houses. Well they were whore houses to tell it like it is. I would never go in and be serviced.

I would wait for the men who went in. I'd talk to some of the girls, but I'd never participate. One Singapore madam asked me not to come back anymore because I'd talked to the girls, and two of her girls had quit. I would say, honey, why are you doing this? Because you're really compassionate for them.

I've always had a very high opinion of women. The very idea that they would do this was very distasteful to me. To think that a woman would give of herself like that, giving one of her most precious gifts, just time and time again, it was just so distasteful to me. And I talked to the girls about it. And so she finally asked me not to come back anymore because two of her girls had quit and gone home because of it.

This happened because of my mother's and father's relationship. I knew if my father thought I did something like that, it would just break his heart." It was the love of a father and a mother that helped Bill Henderson keep his wits about him when both the devil and his hormones were attacking him. While Bill was almost 6, 000 miles away, his father and mother were counseling him with loving acts of kindness and it was effective. Their simple wooden boxes would be used by the Holy Spirit to help their son abstain from fleshly lust that waged war against the soul. 1 Peter 2 9 through 12.

It was the Word of God actively working inside a father, inside a mother. They were not hearers of the Word only, but they were doers of the Word. The sword of the spirit was alive and well in their hearts and as his word worked in them it gave them a love for one another which which set a standard for Bill that he did not want to destroy. Bill's experience in the Pacific serves as a reminder that fathers can step up and give clear instructions to help their sons deal with this threat, for it is a threat that will chase them all over the world. The book of Proverbs makes it clear that lust is convenient, Proverbs 5, that she is aggressive, Genesis 39, and that the only reasonable action for a father is to take time and assist his son in this most dangerous territory.

So how can a father help his son be victorious over sexual sin? First, Communicate the most important principle of mortifying lust. Communicate the most important principle for killing or mortifying lust. Here's the principle. Because lust grows when it is fed, Starve it.

Feeding sexual sin causes lust to grow, where it finally overtakes us. Richard Baxter gives us this directive. Quote, Keep as far as you can from those temptations which feed and strengthen the sins which you would overcome. Lay siege to your sins and starve them out by keeping away from the food and the fuel which is their maintenance and their life. He said this in his book, Directions for Hating Sin, by Richard Baxter.

Lust can be weakened, but only when there's enough hatred of it to starve it out. The first thing that a father must do is to help his son understand the most important principle of mortifying lust and that is to starve it to death. Second, A father needs to clarify the results of failure. Because sin is death and immorality is sin, so immorality is death. Solomon understood the death grip perfectly and he communicated it in Proverbs 7.

He said, with her enticing speech she caused him to yield. With her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stalks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, he did not know that it would cost his life. Now therefore, now therefore, listen to me, my children.

Pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths, for she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death." Immorality spells death to a host of relationships. It destroys opportunities.

It'll wreck your finances. And it'll harm all of your relationships. There is so much at stake when purity is compromised. I'll never forget the day that Dr. Peter Shem came to one of our father-son retreats and he told us about the seven reasons not to entertain Lady Lust.

He said, each reason causes us to consider the cost. Each point makes it clear that lust destroys everything of value and no one ever beats the system. So he gave us the Seven reasons not to entertain lady lust. Here are the seven. First of all, my God to enjoy because engaging in the lusts of the flesh destroys the enjoyment of God.

Number two, my heart to guard because a heart will be defiled by lady lust. Number three, my wife to honor because dishonor will cloud my wife's life if I succumb. My sons and my daughters to train because if I succumb they will not listen to me anymore. My men to sharpen because If I entertain Lady Lust, my sermons will fall dead to the ground. My church to protect.

Because if I entertain her, I might even destroy the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ. John Owen explains the consequences of sin in this way. He said this, quote, how few are there that walk in any beauty or glory who fall, how barren, how useless they are for the most part. Many men harbor spirit-devouring lusts in their bosoms that lie as worms at the root of their obedience and corrode and weaken it day by day. God blasts such men's undertakings.

He said this in his book, The Mortification of Sin. Makes us Think about Lot and how his compromises cost him everything. It makes us remember David, whose succumbing plunged him into the depths of despair, robbed him of future fruitfulness. And don't forget the contrast we see in Joseph, whose integrity saved him and promoted him, far beyond all imagination. 2 Peter 2.10-22 exposes many of the dangers of lust.

It says this, Those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise authority they are presumptuous, self-willed. They are not afraid to speak of dignitaries, whereas angels who are greater in power and might do not bring reviling accusation before them against the Lord. He is speaking of those who, quote, walk according to the lust of uncleanness. They will utterly perish in their own corruption and will receive the wages of unrighteousness as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes carousing in their own deceptions, while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery, that cannot cease from sin.

Enticing unstable souls, They have a heart trained in covetous practices. They are accursed children. They have forsaken the right way and gone astray, following the way of Balaam, the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness. But he was rebuked for his iniquity. A dumb donkey speaking with a man's voice restrained the madness of a prophet.

These are wells without water, clouds carried by a tempest, for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever. For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness the ones who have actually escaped from those who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are slaves of corruption. For by whom a person is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage. For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning.

For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, then having known it to turn from the Holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the true proverb, a dog returns to its own vomit, and a sow having washed to her wallowing in the mire. These are the dangers of lust. They entrap, they suck you back in, they are gravitational force that's almost impossible to resist. And so a father, a father to be faithful to his son must clarify the results of failure.

And then he must explain the dramatic actions that need to be taken to have success. He must explain how dramatic you must be to keep yourself from immorality. Jesus explained the radical response we ought to have regarding sin in Matthew 18 verses 7 through 10. Jesus says, Woe to the world because of offenses! Four offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!

If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye rather than having two eyes to be cast into the hell fire. Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven." The Lord Jesus comes to us and he gives us really an amazing almost incomprehensible illustration of how we should flee lust to the point of gouging out your eye.

Is Jesus saying that you should gouge out your eye? No. He's saying that sin is so terrible that the gouging out of an eye would be nothing compared to the glory of being delivered from sexual temptation. That's what he's saying. So a father should explain the dramatic actions that need to be taken to have success with sexual temptation.

And thirdly, a father needs to help his son establish holy management of the eyes and the ears that will work on autopilot wherever he might be. We know that lust will jump you wherever you are so you have to be ready. Readiness is something that has to be cultivated. And one of the problems that we have in this area that we live in an era where everyone opens eyes and ears for things unlawful in the eyes of God. Everyone is doing it.

And so if you're around everyone then your eyes and ears may be assaulted. If we ever hope to protect our eyes and our ears, then we'll have to realize that we won't be looking at what everyone else is looking at. And we won't be able to listen to everything everyone else is listening to. Even in the church, people who claim to be believers, and they listen to immoral and defiling things Through the songs that they listen to they listen to radio stations and they have no control what's coming into their ears and so they're subjected to it like slaves and if one would keep Himself from immorality then he would have to guard his ears in a way that almost no one around him is guarding them. Also guarding his eyes, guarding his eyes from anything that is impure.

Ephesians 5, 13 and 14 gives us clear principles for governing the eyes and the ears. Here's what Paul says to the Ephesian church. He said, but fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints, neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." so he's saying that these things should not even be named are they named in the commercial are they named in the movie are they named in the song then flee set yourself free from them don't find yourself in their bondage don't be caught in their web like a spider the webs wrap around us around our ears around our eyes and soon we're blind and we're insensitive and we become insensible. We become stick men. We become defiled because we've not been discriminating about the things that we've heard nor the things that we have seen.

Paul continues, he says, For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of God and Christ. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience therefore do not be partakers with them we have no business sitting in movie theaters listening to the things that come across the screens. We have no business listening to the songs in which people are walking in darkness. We become partakers with them. We listen, we look, and it makes us partakers.

He continues, For you were once darkness, but now you are the light in the Lord. Walk as children of light, for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth, finding out what is acceptable to the Lord, and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret and even though it is shameful to even speak of them we listen to them and we watch them and we're defiled by them he continues but all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. Therefore, he says, awake you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light. Here the Apostle Paul ends this section by urging us to arise from the dead, to wake up, to not be asleep anymore, to not let the eyes and the ears and the body be entertained by these things anymore.

Psalm 101 verse 3 addresses the eyes and their use in the house. The psalmist says, I will set nothing wicked before my eyes. Notice, I will set nothing wicked before my eyes. I hate the work of those who fall away. It shall not cling to me.

And yet how often it is that even though we might in our minds reject the deeds of darkness, at the same time we put them before our eyes and instead of hating them, we enjoy them. And we act like we're becoming more culturally aware when we watch them or listen to them. Job explains his personal method for managing his eyes. He said I've made a covenant with my eyes. Why then should I look upon a young woman?

Is it not destruction for the wicked and disaster for the workers of iniquity? Does he not see my ways and count all my steps? If my heart has been enticed by a woman or if I have lurked at my neighbor's door then let my wife grind for another and let others bow down over her for that would be wickedness yes it would be iniquity deserving of judgment for that would be a fire that consumes to destruction and would root out all my increase. He begins by saying, I've made a covenant with my eyes, why? Because if I don't it will root out my increase James issues a command that requires that we lay aside filthiness but also that we replace it with something it's not that we just empty ourselves of something but that we fill our hearts with something even better.

James 1 21 says therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word which is able to save your souls. Notice he says lay aside some filthiness, lay aside most of the filthiness, lay aside the filthiness that doesn't seem so bad is not that bad no lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted words which is able to save your souls what I see what ears here build the affections and the affections rise up within us. The Puritan William Fenner said that we grow affections and then they in turn take us wherever they want us to go. Affections matter. They have the ability to control us.

Paul spoke of the mighty power of affections. He said, we have spoken openly to you, O Corinthians. Our heart has been opened wide. You are not limited by us, but you are limited by your own affections and then he talks about how their affections were similar to those who worshiped idols that it was Baal that it was the worldly things that they had affections for and it was their affections that was restraining and it was their affections that were restraining them Not only should a father help a son establish holy management of the eyes and ears, but he should also remind him of the importance of the law of love and how it relates to sins of immorality. One aspect of love is summed up by the statement in Matthew 7 verse 12, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Every opportunity for fornication or adultery is an opportunity to act in a selfish way toward your neighbor. It's a way of hating your neighbor. It's a way of not loving your neighbor. When we fornicate or commit adultery, we always violate the law of love because we always do it with someone else's daughter or someone else's wife. And you would not want anyone trifling with your daughter and you would not want anyone trifling with your wife because you're like every other person in the world who wishes that you would do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Because all the commandments are summed up by the word love, we ought to obey the commandment that reads, You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife. A son needs to be reminded of the importance of the law of love, a commandment that when it is obeyed flourishes love in a community. Another thing that a father must do with his son, in addition to reminding him of the importance of the law of love, is that he ought to be very clear about virtual immorality. Virtual immorality is a word that I'm using to speak of internet pornography.

There are some who might think that a virtual adultery is not the same as a physical one but this kind of thinking submits that it's only the actual physical contact that makes for immorality but that somehow the internet is a free zone because it's a virtual so does fornication before marriage or cheating during a marriage require physical contact? And the problem is that modern technology allows men to have virtual internet harems. Computerized immorality over the internet is nothing more than old-fashioned infidelity, and in simplest terms it cultivates virtual girlfriends, or if you're married, virtual adulterous relationships that are nothing less than actual adulteries of the mind, Jesus explained it this way, but I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5.28. If anyone thinks that virtual immorality is a moral free zone, they're fooling themselves, The Lord Jesus Christ has made it very clear exactly what immorality of the mind really is. So not only should a father help his son be clear about virtual immorality, he should also remind him of the blessings that are promised.

Deuteronomy 28 gives us a long list of blessings that come from obedience. Moses writes, Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God, to observe carefully all his commandments which I command you today, that the Lord your God will set you high above all nations of the earth and all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you because you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city and blessed shall you be in the country. Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the produce of your ground and the increase of your herds, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.

Blessed shall you be when you come in and blessed shall you be when you go out. A father should cast a vision for the beauty of life in the Lord Jesus Christ, the blessings of turning away from immorality, the joys that are there. And then a father needs to communicate what I believe is the silver bullet for resisting temptation. We've already said that men must take different kinds of actions by making a covenant with their eyes and a host of other things to keep them from sexual temptation. But there is one thing of supreme importance and it exercises the most power in our battles.

Not only do we need the Word of God, the written Word of God, We also need the help of God, the Holy Spirit, the work of the Holy Spirit. Paul said in Romans 8 13, If by the Spirit you mortify the deeds of the flesh, you will live. Notice these words in Romans 8 13. First of all, he says, if by the Spirit. That tells us that you may or may not do it.

It's something that you may choose not to do. But if, if by the Spirit, you mortify the deeds of the body, you will live. And then he gives the secret to it all. It's the silver bullet. He says, if by the Spirit.

And there's no hope without the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. Submitting to being filled with the Holy Spirit is the silver bullet against temptation. For if by the Spirit you mortify the deeds of the body, you shall live." Yes, there are many things that we must do to build a hedge around our lives to resist temptation, but when all is said and done, it is a spiritual work deep within the heart by Almighty God through the Holy Spirit. This should teach us how important it is that we do not grieve the Holy Spirit, that we do not resist the Holy Spirit, but that we are filled with the Holy Spirit. And the last thing that a father must do is that he must help his son gain a vision of the Lord Jesus Christ so that he can see what purity is like.

In Romans chapter 13 verses 12 through 14 we see a vision of the purity of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul says to the Romans, therefore let us cast off the works of darkness and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts." It's the Lord Jesus Christ. It is love for him. It's putting him on.

It's seeking him. It's being filled up with the knowledge of him that is the ultimate hedge against immorality. It was the Lord Jesus Christ at work in Bill Henderson's father that gave him a love for his wife. Here was a man who was loving his wife like Christ loved the church and it was the Word of God working in a father's heart making him love his wife that helped his boy 6, 000 miles away to stay out of the brothels in the Pacific. This boy saw the blessings of purity in his home.

He observed the chaste behavior of his father and his mother. He saw the love of his father toward his mother. It was faith in action. It was theology visualized, working on the ground. It was the sword of the spirit embodied in a marriage.

It's important what weapons of war a boy chooses. All weapons are not created equal And a boy's weapons are not made of steel, but they are spiritual and they're designed for pulling down strongholds that would destroy his soul. Christ's likeness in marriage, activated by the Word of God, is one of the most helpful things a father can do for a son. As he loves his wife, a son can see in real life how wonderful Jesus Christ is. A son sees the blessings of Christ, the love of Christ, and the proper expression of loving authority, and it fortifies him for the evil day.

Jesus Christ, as Lord, is the most important motivation for sexual purity I was writing this and a friend of mine sent me an email, and I asked him to pray for me because I was writing these things down. And he sent me a vow that he uses to encourage his children to help them see the importance of sexual purity before marriage. Let me read you the vow that he sent me that he reads to his children and he encourages them to sign it and give it back to him. Here's the vow, quote, Believing that God's Word commands me to do so, and knowing that God works all things out for my good, I, the child's name, vow before God, my parents and my family and my elders to live my life in sexual purity, in my thoughts, in my will, and in my actions. Realizing that God's Word teaches that my body is to be used for my future husband or my future wife's pleasure and not my own.

I will reserve my body and my heart for the future mate God has prepared for me. I will refrain from any form of sexual activity before I'm married. I ask God to bring misery and pain to my life if I will not strive with all my heart to keep this vow. I furthermore vow to make myself accountable to my parents in this area by affirming to them monthly that I'm upholding my vow. I vow to be honest in my affirmations and ask God to bring pain and misery to me if I lie about my affirmation.

Well that's a pretty powerful vow and I'm not suggesting that every father should use this vow exactly as it is written here, but it's one father's attempt to help his sons and his daughters with sexual purity, and I praise Him for it. I'm glad for a father who would be as careful and detailed as this. Well here's some questions for reflection and discussion. How about taking a look at Psalm 119 verse 9 and talk about the statement there. How can a young man cleanse his way?

What are some of the devastating results of impurity? How does a man keep his eyes from wandering? Have you cleaned up your house of the sources of sexual temptation? Are there any movies or songs that take in the wrong direction that are still with you Because they are idols that need to be destroyed, take time to discuss the kind of sexual life that you are committed to. The Lord has said, You shall be holy, for I am holy.

For I am holy. It is the word from a holy God. It is the Holy Spirit of God that we need the most to stem the tide of sexual temptation. And it is for us, all of our lives, to set our minds on God that we would receive with meekness the implanted word which is able to save our souls. And the implanted word always rises up in praise to Almighty God in the same way that the songwriter has put it holy holy holy Lord God Almighty Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee, holy, holy, holy, merciful and mighty, God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

Just as the soldier must be properly equipped with the right weapons to face his enemy, Christians must be equipped with the right spiritual weapons to overcome our 3-fold enemy of the world, the flesh, and the Devil. Christian men must especially be prepared and equipped to fight against those sins of sexual impurity to which they are especially susceptible. Fathers also must not only use these weapons in their own fight against lust, but must train their sons to fight this battle as well.

Speaker

Scott T. Brown is the president of Church and Family Life and pastor at Hope Baptist Church in Wake Forest, North Carolina. Scott graduated from California State University in Fullerton with a degree in History and received a Master of Divinity degree from Talbot School of Theology. He gives most of his time to local pastoral ministry, expository preaching, and conferences on church and family reformation. Scott helps people think through the two greatest institutions God has provided—the church and the family.

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