My message this morning is counsel from Jesus and Paul on singleness. I plan to take us to a text of Jesus' teaching, a text of Paul's teaching, and we'll sit at their feet and have them teach us on singleness. Not everyone will be married, but everyone will be single. It is those who have been single who marry. The question is, what will you do with those single years, whether few or many?

Jesus in Matthew 19 and Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 tell us how to invest those years. So I want us all to think in those terms. These are years which are invested or lost. So Jesus and Paul can keep us from looking back on those years with regret, seeing in hindsight that a golden opportunity was squandered. That really is the objective of my time here this morning is to hold you back from looking back in the future and saying I squandered my single years and there's an opportunity never to be repeated in my life, and I missed the opportunity.

Let's ask for God's help. Our God, I thank you for all these single brothers and sisters, and I thank you for my own single years and the value of them And I pray for these single brothers and sisters that you would show them with great clarity the golden opportunity that they're in the midst of right now. You would help them to see these as years to be invested, not to mark time till some future state. Please send your spirit to work freely and mightily in our hearts, I pray in Jesus' name, amen. Well, please open to Matthew chapter 19 and let's sit at the feet of Jesus and plead with him that he would teach us from Matthew 19.

I'll be reading Matthew chapter 19 verses 8 through 12, please follow along as I read Matthew 19 verses 8 through 12. He, Jesus, said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who was divorced commits adultery." His disciples said to him, if such is the case of a man and his wife, it is better not to marry. But he said to them, All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given.

For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it. Our text begins with a consideration of divorce. Jesus gets asked about it. And regardless of your view of the exceptions, the overriding thrust is that God designed marriage to be permanent.

His design and creation of marriage was to bring one man together with one woman and that they would become one and that man is not to separate the two who have become one. So Jesus establishes a very, very, very high bar for staying married once you get married. That's the idea. If you get married, you stay married. The disciples' response to Jesus' teaching on this is very interesting.

Look again at verse 10. As disciples said to him, if such is the case with a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. Apparently they had witnessed enough difficulty in marriage to make them think that if the bar for staying married through difficulty was that high, it would be better to simply remain single. Now Jesus' response is interesting. I'll paraphrase Jesus's response.

That's impossible! What's impossible? To sit back and dispassionately analyze various marriage scenarios and then make a declaration of what people should do based on that dispassionate analysis. Why is that impossible? Because God makes people different.

He wires them in different ways so that your dispassionate declaration is going to crash into reality and reality will win. When your dispassionate analysis crashes into people who have been made passionate by God, reality wins, always wins. Psalm 33 verses 14 and 15, Listen to this. Psalm 33 verses 14 and 15. From the place of God's dwelling he looks on all the inhabitants of the earth.

He fashions He fashions their hearts individually. God fashion fashions your heart, my heart, individually. We're not all the same person made the same way who happened to be born into different homes and different environments, given different lives, so we happen to do different things. No, God fashions our hearts individually. So it isn't as simple as saying, marriage can be really hard so just stay single.

Marriage can encounter tremendous difficulties so just stay single. Jesus says, all cannot accept this saying, Only those to whom it has been given to some people that has been given to be able to stay single long term to some people it has not. My observation is to most people it has not been given. Jesus says some are born having the absence of the hormones and or anatomy that result in this intense desire for physical union. Most of us have been born with hormones and an anatomy that incline us intensely towards this physical union which is to be in marriage.

By the way, in those instances, God did that. If people were born that way, they were made that way and God did it. Some are physically altered in order to create the same effect. They are made eunuchs is what the text says. Ancient kings would physically alter men in order to have a class of servants who could be trusted around their wives.

They physically altered them so that they weren't so intensely, they weren't intensely inclined, they weren't inclined at all to the physical union so they could trust these men around their wives and concubines. They were made eunuchs. So kings thought they're safe around the women in my household. Jesus says some have the ability to say single without sexual sin. That's mind and body.

Sexual sin isn't just about the body. Jesus says that so clearly in Matthew chapter 5. Sexual sin can be alive and well even when there's no bodily expression of that it's happening in the mind. So Jesus is teaching here that some have the ability to stay single without sexual sin in mind and body for the kingdom of heaven's sake. Jesus doesn't elaborate on that, so please don't ask me to elaborate on that.

It's safe to say that we're not talking about physical self-mutilation that is contradicted pretty much everywhere in Scripture. So it's not perfectly clear how that is, but it is perfectly clear from what Jesus teaches that it is. They are simply, Jesus says simply that they are given this ability to stay single without sexual sin in mind and body long term. So Jesus is speaking of kingdom-minded singleness, and I think it's fair to say that Jesus in the Incarnation fit this description, kingdom-minded singleness. Jesus understood by experience, having been given this gift by his Father for kingdom-minded singleness, Exactly what he's teaching here.

Jesus concludes that some, and by implication only some, are able to accept permanent singleness. Verse 11, all cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. The last part of verse 12, he who is able to accept it, let him accept it. For what it's worth, I believe that Jesus is teaching that such a person should be allowed to remain single, not that Jesus compels them to remain single. I do not believe this is an imperative.

I think it means that Jesus is teaching that we shouldn't be bringing pressure to bear on such a person who is able to engage in long-term, kingdom-minded singleness to marry. We shouldn't be badgering them to marry. We should let them accept it. Now let's sit at the feet of the Apostle Paul. Turn now to 1st Corinthians 7.

1st Corinthians 7. I'm going to be reading particular sections and I'll tell you when I'm moving from section to section in 1 Corinthians 7. Follow along as I read 1 Corinthians 7 verses 1 and 2. Paul writes, Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband." We see immediately that Paul is talking in the same terms and developing the same concepts that Jesus was in Matthew chapter 19.

There is something that Paul says is good, but which Paul also acknowledges cannot be universally accepted. What is that? Long-term singleness without sexual sin. Paul calls it good. Paul says that long-term singleness without sexual sin is good, but he acknowledges that that cannot be universally accepted.

That's exactly what Jesus was doing in Matthew 19. Apparently the Corinthians wrote to Paul to ask him about this. It starts, now concerning the things of which you wrote to me, he's addressing a question that was posed to him in writing by the Corinthians. Now follow along as I read verses 7 through 9, still in 1st Corinthians 7, now verses 7 through 9. Paul writes, For I wish that all men were even as I myself, But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Now Paul says something similar to what he said in verses 1 and 2, but in a little different way. Paul says that it is good for the unmarried to remain unmarried in that long-term state of singleness that Paul himself was in, to remain as I am, says Paul, but only if they had the ability to maintain self-control over their passions. Only then.

What Paul is not saying is that there is a group that is up to snuff who have a handle on themselves so they don't have to succumb to this inferior state of marriage. So we have group A, finally some people who can exercise some self-control, and then there's the rest of you ne'er-do-wells who aren't up to snuff, don't have a grip on your passions, so fine, get married. That is not what Paul is saying. If that is what Paul is teaching, then Ephesians 5, where Paul, same author, sets forth marriage as this sacred reflection of the gospel of Jesus's deep and wide love for his bride and how marriage is an expression of that in the world. Ephesians 5 makes no sense if he's talking in groups of...if he's dividing Christians into two groups, one that has their act together and one that can find, just have a concession and be married.

Ephesians 5 makes no sense, and Ephesians 5 reflects badly on Jesus and reflects badly on the church as well as all Christians who marry. So rule of thumb, if your interpretation of one text forces your interpretation of another text to reflect badly on Jesus, you have to come back to the first text and go back to the drawing board. That's not the right interpretation. That's not the right interpretation. If it forces you to think badly about Jesus in another text, you got to go back and figure out what that first text really means.

So that's not it. 1 Timothy 4, Paul actually calls forbidding to marry a doctrine of demons. So that should put this at rest forever. Forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons. What Paul is saying is that people are made different by God.

Some with an intense inclination towards marriage and all that it entails. And the intense desire for physical union is a dangerous implication of that. What do I mean by dangerous implication of that? I mean that if God has made you, has fashioned your heart individually with an intense inclination towards marriage and the physical union of marriage, you're sitting on a powder keg. Be careful with the matches.

Don't play with matches. You didn't know when your mom told you that. That's what she meant. If God has made you with an intense inclination towards marriage and the physical union of marriage, you're sitting on a powder keg, careful with the matches. Some people, like Paul, have been made by God with the ability to remain comfortably and obediently single for the long haul.

It doesn't disturb them to remain single. They can remain comfortably in that state. They can remain obediently in that state, in both their thought life and in their actions for the long haul, year after year. Before we move on, I want to proclaim the Christian ethic. The Christian ethic is, it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Are we allowed to say that? Paul says that. That's a direct quote. The Christian ethic is, it is better to marry than to endlessly burn with passion, struggle with those passions. Sex and marriage is the lawful outlet for that.

Sex in marriage is an antidote to burning with passion. Not the antidote, not the only thing that is to be said, but it's set forth as a protection against sexual immorality. If this is a struggle for you, prepare for marriage while asking God to give you a spouse and then within the confines of Scripture try to get married. I think that is a faithful summary of what Paul is teaching in 1st Corinthians 7. If your passions are a struggle for you, get ready to get married and ask God to give you a spouse.

And then seek marriage within the confines of Scripture. I know there are ways to seek marriage way outside the confines of Scripture. I'm not talking about that. Starving lust is one part of the equation, but it is a dubious long-term strategy for anyone who doesn't have the gift of singleness. I want to say that again.

Starving lust is one part of the equation. Plucking out your right eye if it offends you, cutting off your right hand and casting it from you. Starving lust is one part of the equation. But it is a dubious long-term strategy if God hasn't given you the gift of singleness. That's what Paul calls it, a gift given to some, not given to others.

Now look forward to verses 32 through 35. We're still in 1st Corinthians 7, now looking at 32 through 35. Paul writes, "'But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.

There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, that you may serve the Lord without distraction. Here in this section, Paul is bringing us right to the crux of the matter. This is the heart of the matter here.

There are opportunities for serving the Lord that exist for single people that do not exist for married people because of the obligations which are undertaken in marriage. A single person can have a single-minded devotion to serving the Lord that is actually inappropriate for a marriage person. Inappropriate. A single person can live for the Lord in a way that if you saw a marriage person living their life that way, you would rebuke them and tell them to fulfill their obligations that they took when they went to the altar and made those promises. Then this is compounded when God gives you children and multiplied when God gives you the obligations of children.

Because the married person has promised to undertake the worldly care of his or her spouse. That's what you do when you get married. We're going to care for each other, not just in emotional ways, yes, in emotional ways, but not just in emotional ways, but in very practical ways too. We take on obligations when you promise to do that. But the text says that the single person may serve the Lord without distraction.

A wife is a holy distraction. A husband is a holy distraction. Children are a holy distraction from what? From serving the Lord in the way that you can in your single years, however many or few God gives you. Where am I gonna live?

For almost 31 years I have been gloriously obligated to consider Janet when I answer that question. What am I going to do? I am gloriously obligated to consider Janet when I answer that question. What risks can I, should I take? I am gloriously obligated to consider Janet when I answer that question.

I added, My initial notes didn't have gloriously obligated, but I don't want to say the obligations of marriage are bad or less, but they're different. They have you asking different questions and answering the same questions in different ways. There's no denying that. The single person is answering those questions unencumbered by the consideration of a spouse and children. They get very different answers.

Single person has the luxury, if I can say it that way, of narrowing the question to, how can I best serve the Lord? Question mark, end of question. How can I best serve the Lord? I, having assumed the obligations of marriage, am answering the question, how can I best serve the Lord as Janet's husband, as Meghan's and Anna's and Jake's and Rebecca's and Abigail's and Laura's, I almost forgot Laura, father? Those are fundamentally different questions with fundamentally different answers about where you live and how much money you need and what you should do and the risks that you're free to take or not take.

And Paul applies this in the text to both men and women. He talks about men and then he talks about women, so while the expression of the principle might vary somewhat based on gender, the principle is the principle. Single men have a freedom that married men don't have. Single women have a freedom that married women don't have because they've accepted the obligations of marriage. Single person can be holy in body and spirit.

Those are the terms that Paul uses. Understand what Paul is saying. Holy means set apart to God and for God. God says, you are mine. I set you apart to myself and for myself.

And a single person can be set apart to pleasing the Lord in particular ways, in fully devoted ways. You don't need to go any further than Jesus and Paul to trace this out. Just listen and consider Matthew 8 verse 20. Matthew 8 verse 20. Jesus says, foxes have holes.

The birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. Jesus was totally free to go wherever and do whatever, whenever. Totally free. No constraints. You saw a person like that, you'd say, he's single.

Totally free to go wherever and do whatever, whenever does not describe a married man. Should not describe a married man. We're right to look at a person like that and say, he must be single. That's not wrong, that's right. Listen to 2 Corinthians 11, verses 24 through 27.

2 Corinthians 11, verses 24 through 27. Paul said, From the Jews five times I received 40 stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked.

A night and a day I have been in the deep. In journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils of the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren, in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Not the life a married person is called to. Simply not the life a married person is called to. Is it possible that God would bring circumstances upon a married person who would deliver these things into his life?

Yes, yes, that's possible. That's not what's happening with Paul. He put himself in all of those situations. He took all of those risks, proactively took all of those risks, and the world was turned upside down. It is glorious, but it's not a married man's life.

Jesus and Paul both understood the theology and the practice of the gift of singleness. The theology of it, the purpose behind it, the underpinning truths of it, but also the practice, the opportunities that it afforded them that it doesn't afford a Christian married man. Now let's apply this to you and me. I'll start. I thank God that he saved me early in life.

I was born again before my teen years. And I was saved into a group of radically committed Christians. Somewhat theologically messed up, but radically committed Christians. I thank God I was saved into this group of people because for whatever they weren't, they loved Jesus and they would follow him to the ends of the earth. So they set a fast pace.

What does that mean? The expectation if you were in this group was that you were serious about your Bible. You gave meaningful time every day to reading it and studying it and meditating on it and memorizing it, that you were serious about prayer, that you gave meaningful amount of time in seeking the Lord and knowing the Lord in prayer. So while I don't have the gift of singleness in the way that we've been speaking of it. I did have the gift of single years to pursue the study of Scripture and seeking the Lord in prayer in a way that is difficult to now that I'm a husband and a father of many and a grandfather of more and more.

I thank God for those single years. I'm a pastor today because of those single years, because I was saved into a radical group of Christians who set a fast pace in our single years. If you know my story, I didn't expect to become a pastor and I sort of missed the window for the traditional way to become a pastor. And so I'm a pastor not because I went the normal route and had the seminary years. I'm a pastor largely because in the early years I was with my Bible and I was praying a lot.

I wish it had been more, but it was a lot. Now you, that was me. And it shaped my life. The use of those single years shaped my life. Now you.

What will you do with this gift of your single years? Maybe some people here have the gift of singleness and you can comfortably and obediently be single, set aside unto the Lord for the long haul. Most of you probably aren't that, but you're in the middle of single years, you might be few, might be many, you don't know. God knows. What will you do with them?

Let me just give you a series of questions to help get the juices flowing, to help get you to think about how you might invest these years. Question, how would you go about knowing God better if you thought you had a limited number of years to spend in an unusually free way? That the freedoms you enjoy now will partially or wholly evaporate when you take on the obligations of marriage and then children. How would you go about knowing God better now if you thought you had one year with that kind of freedom? Question, what books would you read and how many?

Would you read one book this year, two books this year, two books this year, ten books this year? What books would they be if you knew you had one year, two years, five years? Question, how could you invest your money If you knew that you didn't have the financial obligations associated with marriage and then with children, how could you focus the money that God places into your hands, the resources that God gives you as part of kingdom-minded singleness? I can tell you where a lot of that money is going to go once you get married and have children. I show you my budget afterwards.

Question, how could you serve your church during years where within bounds You can go wherever and do whatever, whenever. I know that has boundaries for everybody on planet Earth. I know that. But it's different in single years than in your marriage years. How could you advance international missions?

Should you go somewhere, either short term or long term? I am not leading a revolt against your head of household, by the way. I am aware that most of you live in a household. That household has a head, So I'm not saying that no longer matters, because Jesus and Paul were single and they could go wherever and do whatever, whenever. I'm not leading the revolution against head of households here.

Work with your head of household. Work with your dad and your mom. Include mom because they're one. Work with them. If you have a Christian father and or mother, they want you to use these years well.

It will probably be music to their ears. Years ago, I gave a message sort of like this one. And I got one of the greatest compliments I think I've ever received when a young man came up afterwards and said, for the first time in my life, I'm excited about being single. I thought, well, at least one person got what I was trying to give. He had spent the time up until then marking time.

Waiting for a future state, and he didn't even know when that future state would come and he's just waiting for it. No, no, no, these are years to be invested with opportunities that will never be repeated in your life, never. For the first time in his life, he was excited about looking at the open field. The field narrows when you marry. It narrows when you marry, and it narrows more when you have children in your single years you have the closest thing to a perfectly open field of opportunities and risks than you'll ever have in your life.

Friends, just ask yourself this question. What should Kingdom minded singleness look like for me? Don't just mark time. Don't squander these years. You'll be sorry.

If you just mark time and fritter away your single years, I promise you you'll look back with regret and sorrow that you didn't use the open field in the ways that brought the best gain for your life. Seek the Lord in your youth. God, I pray that you would punctuate the things that have been said in a powerful way in the souls of everyone who's listening, that you'd make the things that were said that were true, that you would make them unforgettable, you would make them unforgotten. You would cause the truths of your word to stick with us, even to be irritants to us when we disregard them or cultivate a life that makes us forgetful. Pray for my brothers and sisters here that you would give them a clear vision of what to do with the freedoms that they have now that they may never enjoy again.

The rest of their lives help them to know. In Jesus' name, amen.